Dear Congress

Hi,

First, let me say thanks for that “Economic Stimulus Package” you sent me a few months back.  It really  helped, I guess.  I was able to buy half a tank of gas and some groceries.  It was nice, but I kind of felt like I was on Welfare or something.

A few days ago I heard somebody (in New York?) asked you for $700B (seven hundred billion dollars).  I don’t remember all the details but it was something about “preventing a global financial meltdown.”

I’m not smart like you guys, but I did some math.  $700,000,000,000.00 divided by 300,000,000 Americans works out to about $2,333 a piece.   I may have my numbers wrong… the number of Americans changes depending on who you ask.I think if instead of sending $700B to that guy in New York (I think they said he lives near Wall Street or Main Street or thereabouts)… and just send us another Economic Stimulus Welfare check in the amount of $2,333, everything would work out.

Again, I’m not smart like you guys, and I’m definitely not trying to throw a wrench in the system, but let’s say the national debt is $5Trillion dollars, and you only have, say, $10Trillion dollars in the bank (Treasury)… Isn’t it a bad idea to go and buy something that cost almost a whole Trillion dollars?  Especially when you’re already shelling out for a bunch of expensive wars?

I suppose you could just ask that guy with the beard to print more money to cover your losses if you run out.  Anyway, if you would just kindly cash me out at $2,333.00 I would be grateful.  Thanks.

Good Luck!

PS.  Please make the check payable in either Euros or Gold bullion.  Thanks.  Have a nice day.